Surely, the 5 uncoolest albums of all time? And they’re mine!

It took me a while to find these, but these are the albums of my youth. I was quite possibly THE uncoolest kid at school. I’d get beaten up by punks one day; by MoDs the next; by rockers the day after. And so the cycle continued, pretty much up to this present day in fact!

I know this is hard to believe from looking at my cool wife and cool children, so here – as I wait for my new dishwasher to be delivered – I present the evidence, in no particular order….

Metal For Muthas (1980) - Various Artists, including Iron Maiden, Praying Mantis, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Sledgehammer and Ethel The Frog

'Ma Kelly's Greasy Spoon' (1970) - Status Quo. Some surprisingly good bluesy numbers on this. Honest, guv!

The Move - Greatest Hits (1967-71). Includes the all-time class 'Flowers In The Rain" - the first record to be played on Radio 1 (I believe)

Molly Hatchet - 'Flirtin' With Disaster' (1979). Hatchet Molly was a bad-ass girl who in the Dark Ages who would chop the heads off her lovers once she was through with them. The band are good old boys from the Deep South who wold run a mile if a girl so much as looked at them

Tygers of Pan Tang - Crazy Nights (1981). Not the orginal Tygers, but the band when they became Whitesnake-style Americanised. The previous lead singer Jess Cox was booted out of the band. The last time I spoke to him when I was a reporter on the LIverpool Echo and he was a press officer with the North East Passenger Transport Executive. And to think I once climbed on stage at Manchester Apollo just to worship at his feet!